


Diffidence

by k0uk3iji_san



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Body Worship, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Smut, ONLY A LITTLE HURT I PROMISE, Self-Esteem Issues, Suggestive Themes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28899804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k0uk3iji_san/pseuds/k0uk3iji_san
Summary: Akaashi is feeling a little insecure about his body and Bokuto tries putting all his insecurities to rest.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	Diffidence

**Author's Note:**

> I notice in a lot of aged up bokuaka fics, Akaashi somehow maintains his high school body soooo I wanted to write about how he may look/feel a little more realistically:)

Akaashi never understood why he was considered ‘pretty.’ It was a common compliment he got back when he was in college, when he went to bars, or other social activities. And even though his fiancé/boyfriend of 9 years included the word ‘pretty’ in his confession about fifteen times, he thought he looked no more attractive than the average male.

However, one thing he was considerably proud of was his body.

Thanks to his years of volleyball he had developed a lean, muscular form that he took pride in. Especially when he and Bokuto started to get more intimate. 

Of course, he didn’t expect to keep that body forever. 

Now he was standing in his bathroom mirror after just stepping out of the shower. He had a towel wrapped around his hips and was planning on having a lazy day with Koutarou, but he had to run out to get more eggs, so Keiji decided to shower.

He was staring at his stomach with a small pout on his face. He tried sucking it in slightly to see if Bokuto would notice, but he looked too obviously uncomfortable. 

It’s not that he  _ hated  _ his current body. He hadn’t taken any precautions against gaining weight. After all, he stopped playing volleyball after high school which was roughly seven years ago. He worked a desk job, and visited Onigiri Miya regularly. So regularly that some of the workers knew his order by heart.

He felt that he should be ashamed but if he was being honest, the only reason he was ever so proud of his former body was because of Bokuto. 

The older boy had always been muscular, but he had gotten even more so once he started playing volleyball professionally with a more rigorous schedule. 

Akaashi wasn’t envious of Bokuto per say, but he couldn’t help feel insecure whenever Bokuto wanted to see him naked. 

He always knew Bokuto liked his muscular legs, but now they were all soft and mushy. He felt like he would disappoint his fiancé by not having a perfect body. He took several precautions so that Bokuto wouldn’t notice the way he looks as much as possible. There was no way he would notice Akaashi’s strange behavior.

——

Bokuto had started to notice Akaashi’s strange behavior.

He’d been avoiding certain rituals they always did together.

For example, after sex they would almost always shower together. Bokuto liked pampering his fiancé and giving him exceptional aftercare. Now Akaashi would tell Bokuto they could shower the next day but he’d wake up to the sound of the shower running minutes after he fell asleep.

_ Does Keiji not like showering with me anymore?  _ He’d ask himself.

Speaking of sex, Akaashi would recently try keeping his clothes, or at least shirts, on as much as possible. He once  _ yelped _ at Bokuto’s attempt to lift his shirt.

_ Does he not feel comfortable with me anymore? _

And their sleeping positions. Bokuto’s favorite way to sleep with his love was with his head resting on his stomach, while Akaashi’s delicate hands ran through his hair, and his legs wrapped around Bokuto’s upper body.

Now, Akaashi would turn away from Bokuto in his sleep. And, granted, they always woke up touching each other in some way but it just wasn’t the same.

_ Is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Does he not want to marry me anymore? No that’s ridiculous. He wouldn’t have proposed to me if he didn’t want to marry me. And he wouldn’t have agreed to this lazy day if he was mad.  _

_ Right? _

He figured there was no point in wondering about it. He would simply ask Akaashi in a peaceful way when he got back home.

——

Bokuto rushed in the door of their home, hastily tore his shoes off, placed down the eggs (rather roughly,  _ I hope they’re okay, _ he quickly thought) and made a beeline straight toward their half open bedroom door.

He saw the boy sitting half under their covers reading a book he got for White Day a few weeks ago. He looked so adorable and all Bokuto wanted to do was cuddle up next to him and rest, but knowing Akaashi’s recent behavior, it probably wouldn’t be the way he likes. 

Akaashi looked up from his book and gave his fiancé a small smile.

“Hello Kout-”

“Akaashi, do you hate me?!” he blurted. Maybe that wasn’t the most peaceful way to approach the subject.

Akaashi’s small face of content formed into one of minor annoyance. 

“It’s only 10:00, Bokuto. What the  _ hell _ are you talking about?”

Bokuto’s shoulders slumped and he walked forward and flopped onto their bed. 

“I’m  _ sorry _ Keiji! I just… you’ve been acting kind of distant lately and I’m scared you don’t like me anymore,” he mumbled.

Akaashi sighed. “Koutarou, if I didn’t like you, why would I have proposed? Or agreed to spend all day with you?”

“No! No! I know! But…” he now avoided the younger boy’s gaze, “I dunno, I feel like you don’t do a lot of stuff we normally do anymore.” Akaashi tilted his head in confusion so Bokuto continued. “Well… you don’t shower with me anymore, and, well, it’s like you don’t like it when I touch you. And that’s okay I guess! But, if you’re feeling uncomfortable around me, I want you to be able to tell me.”

He looked back up at Akaashi who had a slightly guilty face.

“No, Kou. I- I don’t… it’s not your fault.” Bokuto’s head raised in interest. “It’s not that I feel uncomfortable around you, or when you touch me. It’s just that I… I,” he started mumbling now, “I’vegaimdsomweim.”

“Huh? Keiji I don’t know what you just said.”

“I’ve gained weight, Koutarou,” he said slightly louder but Bokuto got the message.

He blinked up at his lover for a solid fifteen seconds before moving.

In one blink, he got up, snatched the cover off of Akaashi, along with his book, and lifted his shirt.

Akaashi let out a small scream, and tore his shirt from Bokuto’s grasp to pull it back down. 

“Koutarou! What the hell are you doing?!” he yelled.

Bokuto just let out a laugh. “I guess you have haha!”

Akaashi looked down and started to fidget with his hands while Bokuto kept laughing. After a full minute he got out of his bed and tried to leave the room.

“Kaash! Akaashi wait! I’m-,” he tried catching his breath while grabbing Akaashi's wrist.

“What the hell are you doing? Let me go, Bokuto,” he said as he pulled on his wrist, but the older boy pulled him back into the bed by said wrist.

“Keijiii! I’m not laughing at you okay?”

“It sure as fuck looks like that’s what you’re doing, Bokuto. And,” he started to squirm in Bokuto’s arms, “let me go!”

Bokuto noticed that Akaashi started cursing,  _ and  _ using his last name. That meant he was  _ really _ pissed off. He let him go and watched him crawl to the other side of the bed with what looked like small unshed tears that he was blinking back.

It then hit him,  _ Did Keiji think I wouldn’t like him anymore because he gained weight? _

That wouldn’t do at all. Bokuto always wanted to keep the love of his life happy and comfortable. He would never allow him to think that he was anything other than perfect.

“Keiji?”

“ _ What? _ ”

“Did you think I wouldn’t like you… because you gained weight?”

He was silent.

“Oh Keiji I’m so sorry! I swear I wasn’t laughing at you! I thought it was funny you didn’t want me to notice even though we live together! I swear!”

Akaashi sighed. “It’s fine, Bokuto.”

He didn’t look fine.

Bokuto began moving closer to his fiancé. Slower this time, with a serious face. He wrapped his arms around him in a comforting manner. 

It was then Akaashi realized how long it’s been since he let the older boy  _ really _ touch him.

“Keiji I don’t want you to ever think anything like that again okay? You’re so beautiful. I know I just call you pretty a lot but you are honestly the most handsome man I’ve ever  _ seen _ . And I’m not just talking about your face. All of you. I love you so much, Keiji.”

“Kou… damn I don’t deserve you. I love you too.”

They stayed wrapped in each other and eventually fell asleep.

——

It was around 14:00 when they woke up and decided to watch a movie. 

They chose some random action movie to watch, not that it mattered because ten minutes into the movie, it was long forgotten. Instead they decided to focus on each other. 

They softly kissed while some explosion happened on their tv, then Bokuto broke away from Akaashi to mute it.

He came back to him and laid him down.

“Kou? What’re you-“

“Ssshhh, Keiji. I’m gonna make you feel as beautiful as you are.”

He grabbed the hem of Akaashi’s shirt and looked back up at him.

“Of course if you are that uncomfortable with it, I don’t have to, but… is this okay?”

Akaashi allowed himself to have the warmest smile, “Yes, Kou.”

He lifted the shirt off of the former setter and tossed it to the side. He started at his neck and placed soft kisses all the way down him. Everywhere he could reach, not wanting to miss a single place.

He felt Akaashi tense slightly when he reached his stomach. 

“Keiji,  _ relax. _ ”

He kept at his task of making Akaashi feel beautiful. Eventually pulling his sweatpants down, that he was pretty sure belonged to him. He threw them in the same direction as the shirt and started to rub along Akaashi’s legs. 

He then did just as he was doing before, placing gentle kisses on his legs. He also started to whisper sweet nothings into his kisses. 

However, once he reached the inside of Akaashi’s thighs, he couldn’t help tease him a bit. 

Instead of the gentle kisses he was placing before, now they felt a little more wet. A little...longer. 

Akaashi looked down at his fiancé and noticed he was sucking hickeys onto his thighs. He couldn’t help but make slight whimpers and small whines and Bokuto kept on. 

He started to squirm. “K-Kou… aren’t we supposed to be, mmm- relaxing today?”

Bokuto then bit down on Keiji’s thigh and licked it, along with a slight laugh.

“I don’t know about you baby, but I am very relaxed right now.”

“You know that’s not what I mm _ eant _ !” Another bite. 

“No?” He kissed the hit mark. “What’d you mean then?”

“We could just indu-Ahh!”  _ Another _ bite. “Kou! I meant we could indulge in each other’s company.”

“If this isn’t indulging in you…” he licked it, “I don’t know what is.”

“Koutarou,” he said in his voice that was meant to warn Bokuto. Of what? He wasn’t sure.

He removed his head from in between Akaashi’s legs and pulled him down so that he was underneath him. He slid his own thigh in between Akaashi’s and said, 

“You  _ sure  _ you don’t want this Keiji? You’re squirming and making all those pretty noises for me. Of course, unless you explicitly tell me you want this, I won’t do a  _ thing _ . So come on, let me hear it.”

Akaashi let out an annoyed sigh and avoided eye contact. He started to mumble again. “Koutaroiwandis.”

“What was that Keiji?”

“I said I hate you, Koutarou.”

“I love you too, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed and pls call me out on any spelling/grammar mistakes I made（╹◡╹）♡
> 
> OH also I mentioned twice that Akaashi proposed to Bokuto instead of the other way around bc I have NEVER seen a fic where Akaashi proposes instead of Bokuto(￣ー￣ ) so in the future I will probably write howww he proposed:D


End file.
